A week ago, when the sky was dark and low and my thoughts drifted away while I relaxed in the comfort of my sweat-covered (well, salt-crusted) sofa, a lone sentence got into my skull, a sentence I can’t shake off, and which haunts me since. Not being a man to deny his friends an insight in the deepest, blackest pits of my psyche, I’ve decided to share it with you, because you are my friends, aren’t you?
So here it is, the few words which have been in my head for a whole, long week and which I haven’t brought myself to use as a facebook status yet : I still can’t get over the fact that boobies.
Which is true. I mean, sometimes you get stuck with a phrase you don’t agree with, such as “I’d like to lick a sweaty armpit”. OK, it sounds good, would make killer lyrics for a rap song, but licking sweaty armpits, or even dry, clean ones, doesn’t appeal to me at all. But I really can’t get over the fact that boobies. That, and the wonderful capacity of English language to convey such powerful meaning through a sentence that is, grammatically speaking, fully incorrect. But still, boobies.
Boobies is, maybe, the most beautiful word in the whole English language. It must, of course, be plural. Booby is not as beautiful as boobies, much in the same way that a lonely boob, lost in the middle of a chest, is a very sad thing. Yes, a sad thing indeed. I also love the word indeed, which can be used in every situation in which boobies seems inappropriate, such as a conversation at lunch with your boss about the economics of something, or another boring topic about which you care very little, since you are (discreetly, I’ll give you that) ogling the lovely, two-breasted chest of the student at the table behind him.
Boring boss : “… and sho, you shee, [boooooring finanshial shtatement about which you just can’t care, told with a moush full of mashed potatoj], ijn’t it ?
You : -… [jerkily moving your head toward him, getting out of your wet dream] Yes, indeed ! (here, the use of boobies would be unwelcome).
Indeed is a life-saver, if you use it wisely. It can also help you out of a blog article which is going nowhere, though not for very long, because who would rather talk about indeed than boobies ? Who, indeed ?
… Nice try, brain.
Boobies. It is a wonderful word, a world of a word, indeed (dammit!). The sound of it, so charming, so child-like in its pronunciation, and so delightfully grown-up in its hidden promises... I believe that calling boobies boobies is the best thing humanity could do to boobies. And don’t they deserve it? I mean, boobies. They deserve much, for they have done much for us as species.
They deserve home-made cookies. I don’t have any, so I’ve made a haiku, which isn’t as good, but also have a k in it. I would love to have a k for boobies.
A flash of flesh
Giving light to my night
And that is all I had to say about the fact that boobies.
(in fact, I had also written a poem about boobies, but it wasn’t very good, rhythmically speaking. It went:
Boobies, boobies, you are the best
Part of everyone who has boobies
Those who haven’t them are those who love them best
Because if there is a thing you can’t deny, it is that boobies !)